I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
