How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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