Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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