No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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