the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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