hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Nicole vs. Life
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
