YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
