I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
