i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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