those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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