wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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