Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
