I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
