My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
