Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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