happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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