We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
