So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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