ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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