I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
