I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
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I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
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although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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