If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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