1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
People in love make me want to vomit
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
