it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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