if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
