We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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