He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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