well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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