Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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