my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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