and she was petting her beer can
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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