bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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