She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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