Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
soo... how was my night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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