I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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