did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
this just has baby written all over it
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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