I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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