she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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