that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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