He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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