im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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