ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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