Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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