the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I supernannyed him into submission
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
