I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
