Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
