Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
