yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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