I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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