i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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