I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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