My friends, they love my intelligence
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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