i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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