I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
