Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
